Today 6-30-2021 was a wake up for me

 Today was a wake-up call to myself

This week I have been sleeping during the day and up at night. I need to put myself on a daily schedule. Me I love to run wild and break as many laws & rules as I can. 

I'm a person over my life that will not put up with any ones bullshit. I have been thought too much in my life. I'm a person that was not honest when I was a kid and as I grew up and became an adult I became a drunk/dishonest to everyone. Today as I'm writing this I know I have said I was going to do things that I have never completed them and I'm feeling bad about it now I never did them. I need to stop make proms that I never completed.

The thing that bothers me the most today is that I abandoned my daughter's life when she was two years old and told my ex there the fucken door and don't let it kick you on the way out as I ended my relationship with her.,. I always ask why did I break up with my high school sweetheart. I know the answers now it was because my drinking was more important than my relationship. we had a two-bedroom apt and everything I wanted in life and I was spoiled by my ex at the end of it all, I picked all her shit up and put my ex's shit on all the boxes, and moved to a studio apt. I lost everything because of my alcoholism. As I should have been in my daughter's life but I wasn't I'm grateful that she is in my life today and has given me for the past.

I do not know what the hell I really want now it feels like. I know I have started too many projects at once. I need to do one at a time. Well, I'm out for now because I feel like I'm not making any sense in this blog but that's me.